I love homeschooling. In fact, I haven’t really found much
not to like about it. I love my kids, and I enjoy the opportunity to see them
learn and grow, and to make the most out of teachable moments. I enjoy spending
time with them in many different venues. This doesn’t make me a better mom than
one who sends their kids to school. If you knew me like my kids do, you would
quickly see how many “mom” areas of my life are in need of improvement. In all
my homeschooling years, there is one area I found that really is lacking
though. It definitely needs special focus. That is the area of teaching and
maintaining personal responsibility and accountability with our children.
A homeschool mom wears many different hats: teacher, nurse,
referee, chef, chauffeur, mom, comforter, and disciplinarian….and all that can
be before breakfast! It calls for a mom to be always on her toes, and walking
close with the Lord to have the wisdom and strength necessary to know when to
be firm and when to step back.
With some time and experience, most homeschool families are
able to develop a system that works for them, using a combination of the many
homeschool systems that are available. One tendency I have noticed that
homeschool moms in general seem to have though is to be very lenient on school
requirements and deadlines.
When children are younger, they are satisfied with pleasing
their mom/teacher by completing everything that is asked of them. They
generally enjoy schoolwork, and learning new things. Most homeschool moms are
very involved in one-on-one teaching with their young children, which children
really thrive with. As the students get
older, they may test the waters a bit to see if certain assignments really need
to be completed or not, and if not, will there be consequences? They become
more comfortable with voicing their opinions about subjects and assignments,
especially the ones they find challenging or boring.
Moms who are busy, worn down, or just plain trying to keep a
peaceful homeschool running smoothly may be tempted to slack off a bit on these
students. It is easier to not make them finish, or to just let them off the
hook on something they are struggling with. There may be challenges to overcome
with finding a tutor or someone who can help explain more challenging subjects.
One of the main challenges to homeschooling is that we are
100% in charge of character building, 100% of the time. Homeschool parents don’t get to ‘share’ that
responsibility with a teacher or school system. There is not a typical
partnership with a caring teacher who will labor to make your child ‘toe the
line’ and be accountable for assignments. A homeschool mom has to always be
willing to take the unpopular route in the home and sometimes even be the firm
one who deducts points off an essay that is not completed on time, or gives a
failing grade to a test that deserves it, requiring that student to correct and
redo work that is not up to the standard that has been established for them.
Because of the lack of other voices telling your child what to do, they may
perceive your sole demands on their personal accountability as unfair or
unjust.
While homeschooling certainly demands a fair amount of flexibility, the flip side is that
homeschool parents are assigned the challenge of making sure that their
students experience the demands of personal responsibility in their work as
well. Remember, we are training them for life. When they make mistakes, we want
them to be the type of people who will take responsibility for it, and make
things right. We want them to have good character, and be able to pursue
whatever dreams the Lord gives them.
Perhaps they will go on to college or the
military. That cannot be their first experiences with being accountable for
completing tasks properly and on time. We must determine to create situations
right in our own homeschools, where they will learn this necessary character
trait.
It is a great disservice to our homeschooled students to not be consistent with them or not make them complete
their assignments. We are doing them no favors when we look the other way and
do nothing about it. We should be looking to give them some deadlines and make
them accountable, just to give them some practice for real life situations.
Personal responsibility begins with us as homeschool
parents. If we will be responsible to follow through consistently on the tasks
we assign, and keep our kids accountable with their schooling, they will surely
respect and follow our example. We will be building good character that will
reap generous benefits in years to come for our students.
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Fantastic article, Erica! As a matter of fact, I woke up around 3:30 and couldn't get back to sleep for awhile....and in the course of the praying I began to do, I covered this very topic. Thanks for some wonderful words!
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